DO I DESERVE THIS?

 

This is not what you think, I’m not going to talk about deserving Albie, my Grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM) brain tumour that is killing me, I’ve never thought  about that as it’s simple……. NOONE DESERVES IT!! In life you get dealt your cards and you have to roll with them, there’s is no rhyme or reason as to what you get, obviously some people get dealt a better hand than others. I might have been given a bad one this time but it’s what I’ve been given NOT what I deserve!

 

Whilst I’m okay with that, I do question if I deserve the support I’ve been given……..

 

I’ve been overwhelmed with people putting themselves out for me. This includes the endless lifts to appointments, friends visits to check up on me and to keep in touch, dragging me out of the house or inviting me over to join their family for dinner as they know I’m on my own, work managers making adjustments so I can still work and use my mind  which has been great for my sanity to name only a few things.

 

I have been lucky that people have given me opportunities to enjoy good things to improve my quality of life. For example tickets to events or experiences, some may be small local things arranged by friends but I’ve also been lucky and had a truly amazing once in a lifetime VIP experience that came about from a chance meeting of a very influential person in an airport who just happens to be the nicest man I think I’ve ever met. I can never thank him enough for what he has done for me.

 

BUT…. Do I deserve to have these opportunities? Yes, they have been brilliant and picked me up during some of my low times, giving me amazing positive memories but I can’t help thinking why me?

 

For all the bad things that are happening to me, someone is going through something worse somewhere, surely they deserve it more than me! I would like to think that they too are getting support and opportunities to pick them up when they are down.

 

I’m sure that if the situation was reversed I would be more than happy to support my friends but the lengths they have gone to really has made me feel appreciated. Being happy to share, postpone or miss out on their life to support mine.

 

I am very lucky to have such good friends, both old and new and would like to thank them all for their help and support. You’ve been Awesome!! Thanks so much.

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